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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450988">Love Me Like You Do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sterek_Fan_4ever/pseuds/Sterek_Fan_4ever'>Sterek_Fan_4ever</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forever Yours [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eddie Diaz Loves Evan "Buck" Buckley, Emotional Hurt, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs A Hug, Evan "Buck" Buckley and Eddie Diaz Being Idiots, M/M, Mpreg, Not Beta Read, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, evil author</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:48:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29450988</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sterek_Fan_4ever/pseuds/Sterek_Fan_4ever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When one decision changes everything how will Buck and Eddie deal with it all. (I kind of suck at summaries. Sorry.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Forever Yours [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200749</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>150</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When Your World Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone. First welcome to my first foray into writing for this particular Fandom.<br/>Somethings I want to clarify before you guys start reading.<br/>1) There is no official posting schedule for this fic. I will get chapter out to you as soon as I am able to.<br/>2) Please leave comments if you feel comfortable as they make me feel good. They also help me gauge if you guys are liking the story so far or if I you think the story could be better. (I like suggestions and if it doesn't ruin the overall story I could decide to add it in if you are cool with it).<br/>3) This is in regard to the tags: Yes I tagged emotional hurt. I made this decision because at the very beginning Buck is hurting emotionally. That being said I DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN HE IS HURT. (Yes that needed to be capitalized). I am going to try very hard to make sure that Buck is not hurt anymore emotionally. I will NOT let him be hurt physically, as he has had enough in my opinion.<br/>4) The rating in EXPLICIT for a reason.<br/>5) I will respond to any comment you guys make. I will do so as soon as I am able.<br/>6) As previously stated I have not written in this fandom before. This is not my first work. However, this is different from how I have written previously. (If you do not believe me check out some of my other works) For example this first chapter is the longest chapter I have ever written before.<br/>7) This is a work of fiction. I do not own any of the right for the show or the characters used from it.<br/>8) Reading fanfiction is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. So I you will have fun and enjoy!</p>
<p>Edited 2/18/2021: I made some minor edits to the chapter as I found grammar mistakes. Also I forgot to add in that I do not own any of the rights to songs, lyrics, movies, tv shows, etc. outside off 9-1-1 that I may pull inspiration from or put in as an Easter egg (like the title of this work for example).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            It’s been weeks, weeks of stress, weeks of pain, weeks of everything falling apart. Buck hated feeling this way, like everything he had finally been able to build was crumbling around him. When he had started this lawsuit, everything seemed so simple. Buck was wrong, it pulled everyone at the 118 into it, all their pasts and secrets at the mercy of this mess that Buck started. Now, here he is sitting in the hospital having been throwing up for the last three days, probably gave himself an ulcer because of this stress. What’s worse, he’s sitting in this waiting room in a place he hates alone. No one in the 118 has talked to him since that day in the supermarket, one of the worse days from this situation. Bobby shut him out before it all started, Hen and Chim followed suit once they we notified of the suit. Then there was Eddie, Buck didn’t know what to do about Eddie, hasn’t known what to do for a while. “Evan Buckley.” The nurse called him through to the back. “Take a seat, we will be with you shortly.” The nurse walked away and left Buck to his thoughts again. Alone, that was how Buck felt right now. Every day he was alone, unable to work due to the lawsuit. He didn’t have any friends outside of work, the people he thought was his family. Buck chuckled at that thought. Being ignored is just what his family did, he had hoped they would be different. Speaking of family Maddie had been distant lately. He knew why, she tried to be there for him, but Chimney was her boyfriend and the lawsuit affected him. It’s why Buck was just as distant with her in return. Now that he was here scared that something was wrong, all Buck wanted was to hold her hand and have her reassure him that everything was alright. The nurse came back in and started her evaluation of him, going over everything on his intake forms. Buck had just about zoned out when he heard her say something. “Mr. Buckley, you check off that you are a carrier.” Buck’s brain took a little time to get into gear, it was such an out of the blue statement. “Oh, um yeah. I got tested when I was 16 and it came back as carrier positive.” That had not been a fun day, his parents had let his doctor do the test during a physical, not really bothering to care one way or the other. When the results came back none of them talked about it, the only difference was that Buck had been put on birth control because as his parents had said they were not ready to be grandparents. “Alright, and you have come to the ER today having been vomiting the past three day, correct?” Buck nodded not understanding what she was asking but feeling like the answer was at the back of his mind. “Alright then. Mr. Buckley is it possible that are pregnant?” Buck opened his mouth to tell her no, but all that came out was a muffled murmur. He broke out into a cold sweat, his stomach rolling. If Buck looked in the mirror, he knows that he will have gone pale. Because yes, yes it was possible.</p><p> </p><p>            Buck knew all about the phenomenon known to the public as a carrier, he researched it extensively after his positive test results. Carriers are human males born with internal female anatomy. They have a healthy uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries with eggs which allowed them to become pregnant and give birth to children. Buck learned from his research that inside of him there were what doctors like to call the two pathways. One was connected to his digestive system and allowed him to function normally and was open most of the time. However, this changed when carrier’s had sex. Instead, the other pathway was opened allowing for what was essentially an internal vagina to be accessible. This was how carriers could become pregnant while engaging in anal sex. According to the data around 10%. of males born in the U.S. were born a carrier and most used birth control and a monthly calendar to track their fertile period. Only now Buck can’t remember if he took his birth control or not. It would not be a problem normally, he just has the usual cramps that came with the change in his regular cycle, except for what happened about 8 weeks ago. 8 weeks of hell, because that was when Buck had decided to press the self-destruct button, again. That was when he had slept with Eddie. That night, that amazing, wonderful night with the man Buck has loved for so long. Of course, it all went to crap the next day, when Eddie acted like he didn’t remember. Buck couldn’t be sure that Eddie didn’t remember that he wasn’t faking memory loss but none of that mattered anymore. The nurse was looking at Buck with such kind eyes while he was freaking out. “I-I’m not sure.” The nurse smiled. “Alright well it’s hospital policy to perform a pregnancy test in this situation, so I’ll add that into the lab order.” Buck nodded along half listening, trying to do the math in his head. Could he have been off birth control when he and Eddie were together? Round and round Buck went trying to figure it out while he was lead through and taken care of in the ER. By the time the doctor came in he had worked himself up and was vibrating in the bed. “Hello Mr. Buckley. I’m Doctor Lin.” Buck looked at the doctor nervous about what was going to come out of her mouth. “Hi.” Doctor Lin came to stand closer and began pressing her finger on a tablet using it to bring up whatever it is they found that would change Buck’s life. “Sorry about the wait, we are a little busier than normal. Alright here we are lab results for Evan Buckley. Well, Evan good news you are perfectly healthy and congratulations you are pregnant.” Buck’s heart started to speed up beating faster. “I can see this is a surprise for you, which is not uncommon among carriers. Now before we release you, we do have to check and make sure everything is fine with the pregnancy, so I am going to page someone from OB to come and check you out alright?” Buck nodded unable to form words. “Alight, you take care of yourself.” The doctor exited the room leaving Buck to his thoughts. <em>Pregnant. I’m pregnant.</em> Unconsciously Buck moved his right hand over his stomach as tears began to pool in his eyes. Buck sat there with that thought repeating in his head until he was brought out of it by the curtain being drawn and another doctor coming in. only this time, they had equipment. “Hello Mr. Buckley, I’m Doctor Gaines and I’m just going to take a look at how the baby is doing.” Buck watched as Doctor Gaines moved closer and took the ultrasound gel container out for use. “I need you to lift your shirt up for me please, and I apologize in advance, but it will be cold.” Buck lifted the hem of his shirt up over her stomach and flinched a little from the cold gel. The doctor moved the wand over and around until she found the spot in Buck’s uterus she was looking for. “There we are. Everything looks good, it’s still a little too early to hear the heartbeat yet as you are…”</p><p> </p><p>“Eight weeks.” The doctor looked surprised as these were the first words Buck had said since she entered. “Yes. May I ask how you know that?” Buck smiled slightly at the question, usually he didn’t get to surprise people like this. “I know I’m no doc, Doc but I do know how babies are made. Since I need to be on the bottom as a carrier and I’ve only had sex with one man in the last year where I was the bottom I know exactly when this baby was conceived.” Most people get a little freaked out when Buck talks about his sex life including men and women. It doesn’t bother Buck he knows they assume the norm that he is straight and unless those people are part of the very small circle of people he loves and trusts or are trying to sleep with him themselves then he doesn’t care to correct them. However, Doctor Gaines just smiles and nods her head completely unfazed about him talking so candidly about sex. “Alright, well that will help you out in the long run. Now do you have a regular OBGYN?” she asked while printing the sonogram out and handing Buck paper towels to clean off the gel. Buck nods, that was one of the first things he did when he got to LA knowing that it was important to take care of himself. “That’s good. You need to make a follow up with them after you leave, so you can further discuss your options.”</p><p> </p><p>“O-options?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. What you plan on doing with the pregnancy, but if you are uncomfortable, we can discuss them now.” Buck felt sick, options scared him and instinctively he put his hand back down to his stomach, protecting his baby. Without even needing to think Buck answers, “I’m keeping this baby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. Well, that is one less decision. However, you will need to call you OB and schedule a follow up as they will want to monitor you. Also, I see in you chart that you are on blood thinners. You are going to need to call your hematologist and have them switch you from the pills to an injection as the pills are not healthy for the baby.” The Doctor tells Buck this and everything else he needs to do before getting his discharge papers ready.</p><p> </p><p>            After being discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health for both himself and the baby and being given a list of doctors to call and things he had to stop doing and eating Buck drove home. Entering his apartment Buck looked around at the emptiness and his thoughts finally went down the road he didn’t want them to. Buck walked over to his couch and laid on it, curling into ball to protect his baby. No, his and Eddie’s baby. A baby they made together. A baby Buck already loved. “<em>You’re exhausting!”</em> Buck squeezed his eyes closed the tears beginning to flow now. Buck was alone. He was truly alone now. He didn’t have anyone who he thought would be on his side. The 118 showed that they never really loved him, stopping him from working and then blaming him when he decided to stand up for himself. Maddie, she left him again. Buck never had his parents even when they were right in front of him. Worst of all was Eddie, the man he loved, the father of his child. Eddie who after their night together proved that he never cared about him, never loved him like he loved Eddie, and now here Buck was about to become a single parent in just a few months’ time. All because Buck couldn’t be enough. He was never enough, and now Buck was alone. Except maybe he was wrong, maybe there was someone who would be there for him. Opening his eyes Buck pulled his phone out of his pocket. Unlocking it he scrolled through his contacts until he found who he was looking for and pressed FaceTime. Part of Buck hoped that there was no answer because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop crying anytime soon, but a larger part hoped and prayed that the call would connect, and it did. On the screen a man appeared with the same brown hair that Maddie had but the same blue eyes that Buck saw every time he looked in the mirror. There was smile on his face at first but as the man took in the sight of Buck on the screen it fell instantly, and a look of worry replaced it. “Evan, hey what’s wrong?” The care and love laced with the worried tone made Buck cry harder, so much that he didn’t even notice what was in the background of the screen. Calming himself enough to speak Buck just said four words. “PJ, I need you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Us Against the World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys I'm back with a new chapter!!!!! First I want to say WOW! I am truly touched. The first chapter generated 294 hits, 24 kudos, 20 subscriptions, 4 bookmarks, and 3 comments from readers. I note this because this is the MOST I have ever gotten from any of my previous works' first chapter. SO, thank you all. It is because of you that I was able to finish this chapter ahead of my own personal schedule (Honestly I thought I wouldn't be able to get it out to you guys until the end of the month). Let's get into it and enjoy all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            When he landed this morning at LAX, Major Parker James Buckley thought he knew what to expect. Since he hadn’t talked to either his sister or brother about him coming home Parker, or as everyone called him PJ, knew that there wouldn’t be anyone waiting to pick him up. He was fine with that. If Buck had known, he would have waited with one of those huge ‘Welcome Home’ signs and seeing that would have broken his already fragile control over his emotions. He would start to cry, no doubt about it. Luckily, PJ knows Buck would not push him to talk, yet. Maddie however would have been worse. She would have picked him up and tried to make him talk to her about why he was home early. Or about what happened while he was on tour. She would ask if he told Buck he was coming home. Or the worst one yet, to call their parents. That is the one thing PJ will always refuse his older sister having long ago refused to call Margaret and Phillip Buckley unless it was necessary. Maddie wanting him to call did not qualify, as necessary. PJ expected other things as well, like the stares from everyone because he was still in his uniform. He even got the expected “Thank you for your service.” from about at least five different people. What PJ had not expected was to have his phone ring after collecting his duffel. He especially did not expect to see his little brother calling him a sobbing mess desperately telling him that he needed him. Sitting in the Uber on its way to Buck’s apartment was not helping him at all. It just gave him time to worry. It had been sometime since Buck had called him upset and asking for him to come be with him, but never had he looked so broken. It made PJ angry and he clenched his right fist in his lap while rubbing his left hand against his left leg. <em>What the hell is going on?</em> is what PJ thought as the Uber driver dropped him off. Taking the elevator PJ arrived at the door to the apartment and stopped. PJ took a deep breath uncertain of what was to come and knocked.</p><p> </p><p>            Buck had finally stopped crying. It took him an hour, but he stopped. Currently he was sitting on his couch just starting at the TV, it wasn’t even on. all he could think about is how he had screwed up again. He shouldn’t have called PJ and gotten him involved. He was still on tour for at least another two months and Buck knew this. Sighing for the hundredth time Buck started to reach for his phone to call him back when a knock rang out from his front door. Confused Buck got up to answer and was floored when he opened the door. “Hello brother.” There was PJ standing at the door still in his uniform with his duffle over his shoulder and grin on his face. “I’m home.” Two words. Two words was all it took for Buck to start crying again as he threw himself into his brother’s waiting arms. They stood there for a while hugging until Buck leaned out of the hug and asked, “What are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>“You called.” Buck rolled his eyes at the answer but didn’t push, he knew PJ wasn’t going to talk about why he was home early unless he was ready. Letting go of his brother Buck went back to the living room and plopped onto the couch. PJ shook his head and said, “I see that hasn’t changed.” Before putting his duffle down and taking a seat. Just being in PJ’s presence made Buck feel lighter, because he knew PJ had his back no matter what. “Alright, I’ve let you hug me, you’re not crying anymore. Tell me what is going on.” Buck sighed. “Where do you want me to start?”</p><p> </p><p>“From the beginning Evan.” Settling in that is what Buck did. For the next two hours he talked to PJ about everything, including stuff they had already talked about. His time serving at firehouse 118. About Bobby, Hen, Chimney, Athena, and Eddie. He told PJ about how close they had gotten, like a family. How worried they were when his leg was messed up. He talked about how he had the blood clots and Bobby’s decision to bench him. He told PJ about the lawsuit. He told PJ almost everything. “You did the right thing Ev. Your Captain should have talked to you, especially because the blood clots happened while you were not on duty. Not to mention it is a treatable condition.” Buck wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, no one had said that to him this whole time. “Not to mention the cold shoulder or the yelling in public which is unprofessional.”</p><p> </p><p>            PJ was pissed. How dare these people who talked about being his brother’s friend, his family treat him this way. It made PJ’s blood boil first responders are like an army unit. These people were your family, and you were supposed to do anything for them, trust them, not toss them aside like yesterday’s garbage. “My lawyer says the city wants to settle.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, they do, if this goes to court it would be a PR nightmare for them.” Buck laughed. “I thought the army put you through medical school not law school?” PJ laughed as well, “They did. Doesn’t mean I didn’t pick up a few things along the way.” PJ held Buck’s hand and squeezed it, “I will be there every step of the way, alright and you are going to win this.” Buck sighed and dropped his gaze from PJ’s. “I think I need to settle.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Tears started to well up in Buck’s eyes again, as he had yet to tell PJ about his pregnancy. “I screwed up PJ. I should have been careful, but I wasn’t and now here I am.” PJ squeezed Buck’s hand again urging him to continue. “I wanted to be with him so bad, but I forgot my birth control. I forgot myself. We should have used protection and now…” Buck fully started to cry now his emotions and hormones playing havoc with his tear ducts. PJ took Buck’s other hand before talking. “Evan, please look at me.” Buck raised his head and saw PJ was not angry like Buck expected. “Alright, so I’ll be here for you and my niece or nephew. You are telling me that your pregnant right?” Buck shook his head. “Ok. So, this is what we are going to do. First, we are going to look at the settlement and come up with a counter to it. Once we do that, I am going to handle everything with the lawyer and the LAFD, and do not try to argue with me. Next you are going to call your doctors and make appointments. Finally, you are going to tell me the name of the other father of your baby because I am going to kick his ass for not being here with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are not kicking his ass PJ, he doesn’t know.” PJ raised an eyebrow at Buck. “He doesn’t PJ, I just found out about the pr-pregnancy. No one else knows.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m your big brother and as I told you when you were 14 after coming out to me, if a woman ever breaks your heart, I will be there for you to talk. I’ll follow your lead, need a hug I can give one, want to cry use my shoulders, want to scream I’m right there.” Buck chucked remembering the speech like it was yesterday. “But if a man breaks your heart, I’m kicking his ass, and then we can do whatever you want.” Buck laughs at that, still finding funny after all this time, and knowing that PJ means every word. “Stop it. you’re not kicking his ass. This is my fault, ok. I mean yes it takes two to make a baby and either of one of us could have made sure we used a condom, but he doesn’t know that I’m a carrier. It’s not something I just blurt out. Besides for this to have happened I would have to be off birth control, which I obviously forgot to take during my cycle.” Buck stands up and starts pacing anger welling up inside as his hurt over everything was amplified by his new hormones. “So just stop it alright.” PJ looked at his brother and sighed. Rubbing his left leg with his hand PJ spoke. “Alright, I won’t beat Eddie up, for now, but I reserve the right to do so in the future.” Buck stopped cold whipping around to look at PJ. “I never said…” PJ raised his right hand to interrupt Buck. “You didn’t have to. We talk at least twice a month and while you haven’t told me everything, I do pay attention. Plus, I know you. You have liked Eddie from the moment you met him, you know it, I know it, Maddie even knows it. So honestly, I took an educated guess and your face confirmed it for me. Now come sit back down so we can talk about the lawsuit. Once you tell me what you need call your lawyer and tell them I am coming so we can get this over with while I go change. Then you can make your appointments alright.” Buck nodded and sat back down on the couch. “Alright Ev tell me what you need.” Buck took a deep breath and answered. “I don’t want the money they are offering. If I accept it, I will no longer be employed by the LAFD or allowed to return. I want to go back to my job of being a firefighter. Obviously because of the pregnancy which I will have to tell them about I can’t go out on certain kinds of calls. I’ll take light duty, but not as a Fire Marshal. I can help around the station and I got EMT certification right before this all happened so I can help with the medical.” PJ listened carefully to Buck as he knew that this would be important. “I can’t go back there though.” Buck whispered this part before not talking anymore, cueing PJ to take over. “You mean firehouse 118?” Buck nodded scrubbing his eyes with the back of his hand as he had once again started to cry. “You need to have trust when you are out on a call otherwise someone could get hurt. I thought I had their trust, but I was wrong, and after all of this I don’t trust them to have my back anymore PJ.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ok so you need a transfer out of firehouse 118 as well. Anything else?” Buck sat there for a couple of minutes before answering. “Yeah, one more thing. I don’t want them knowing, at least not yet. I know I have to tell Eddie and I will, but I need some time first.” PJ took Buck’s hand. “Of course, and when you do tell him I’ll be there. Alright you call, I will get changed.” With that PJ stood took his duffle and went to the guest room to get into civilian clothes while Buck called Mackey to tell him about what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>            When PJ came back Buck was off the phone and watching TV. “Did you call?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Address for the lawyer is over by the keys for the jeep, name is Chase Mackey. Also called my doctors. I got an OB appointment Friday, and my hematologist sent a script for blood thinner injections cause they are the safest for the baby. Pharmacy info is also by the keys so you can pick that up to worrywart.” PJ chuckled and went over to the table with the keys and papers. “Alright. Do you want me to call Maddie and ask her to come over? So, you aren’t alone.” PJ expected a quick response, instead he got silence. PJ turned towards Buck and saw him looking sad. “Evan.” Buck sighed knowing that tone from experience said tell me now or face my wraith, although this time Buck figured PJ’s wraith would not include a headlock, noogie, or wet willy like when they were kids. “Maddie and I haven’t talked since the lawsuit started.” Buck looked at his shoes. Saying it out loud hurt, saying it to PJ hurt worse. “I’m sorry I must have heard you wrong.” Buck sighed again this was not going well. “It’s complicated.” Buck heard PJ make that frustrated sound in his throat he hated. It sounded like a mix between a growl and a groan and it was always reserved for when PJ was disappointed in one and or both his sibling’s actions. “Well uncomplicated it, Evan.” Buck winced at the tone and the use of his first name together. “Because when I get back you are going to tell me exactly what the hell is going on.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WOW, right?! Ok, first if any of you want to guess the song I got the chapter title from let me know in the comment and I will tell you. (I will give the answer if no one guesses it right with next chapter's release so no pressure guys!) Also if you noticed the easter eggs from other sources, fee free to comment on them as well. Second I have little plot hints that have started in this chapter (these will continue in the future) and feel free to speculate. As always leave comments, kudos, subscribe (if you want, no pressure), and I am of course open to you feedback/ideas.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Can't Change</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys. I'm back with chapter 3. First I want to thank you all for the outpouring of love for this work. As it's creator (and number 1 fan) I knew that I was writing something I loved and had hoped other would to, but never in my wildest dreams did I expect this for all of you. I am truly touched. This is for you guys.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Arriving at the address Buck gave him PJ parked and headed inside to talk to Buck’s lawyer. After taking the elevator PJ found the office of Chase Mackey and knocked. “Come in.” PJ opened the door and walked inside. “I’m sorry but I am not seeing new clients today.” PJ closed the door and began. “I’m not here as a client. My brother called about me handling his case. I’m Parker Buckley, he may have called me PJ.” Realization dawned on the man’s face. “Yes, he did call said something had happened and you were coming to discuss it with me.” Taking a seat Mackey gestured for PJ to do the same. “Your brother was very cryptic on the phone. What can I help you both with?” PJ dug out a piece of paper out of his jeans and handed it over. “Recently my brother received news which has changed his life. It made it him reevaluate whether he should settle or not.” Mackey nodded taking the paper in his hand and not reading it listening instead. “I see. Well, I think I can get the city to up the settlement with what we have evidence wise.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve heard and I’m sure you could, but it isn’t about the money.” PJ points to the paper in Mackey’s hand. “That is what it is about. On that piece of paper is what Evan wants you to get him to settle otherwise he is more than willing to continue with the lawsuit. It’s signed by him, so you have proof of his wishes. It also has his new condition as well, which is why I am going to be handling this for him from now on.” Mackey looked down at the paper, unfolded it and read. When he was done, he looked back up at PJ, with a grin on his face. “This true?” PJ nodded and pulled out the other thing from his pocket, a copy of the sonogram from the hospital Buck gave him and slide it over. Mackey’s grin became wider. “Kid you just made my day. With this the city will be begging to meet these demands, especially if they don’t want the media getting wind of this.” PJ nodded. “They don’t, because as everyone knows the media loves to take stories and run with them. How fast can we get the ball rolling on this?” Mackey picked up the phone on his desk, “Let me make a call.”</p><p> </p><p>            One hour later PJ and Mackey were at the Los Angeles Fire Department Headquarters being escorted to a conference room. It was fast but PJ knew that the city would want this over with before the press got wind of the lawsuit or it went to trial. They reached the conference room and entered. Inside were three women sitting at the conference table. When they entered two of them looked at PJ confused while the one in the middle stood. She was dressed for work and PJ could tell from her aura and clothes that he was in the presence of the Fire Chief. “Mister Mackey, it’s nice to see you again.” She held out her hand to shake his, but PJ saw it in her eyes she was not happy to see him. She turned and faced PJ giving him a once over before extending her hand. “Fire Chief Eliza Carter. I don’t believe I know you.”  PJ took her hand and shock back, the manners he learned and his army training kicking in. “No mam. Major Parker Buckley, my brother is Evan Buckley. He asked me if I would be here for him.” Chief Carter’s eyes gleamed for a little bit. PJ saw the other two women look at him suspiciously. “Of course, that’s not a problem. Thank you for you service Major.” She took a seat and PJ followed suit. “I’m curious as to why you called. It was my understanding that Evan Buckley did not wish to settle.” PJ took a breath and began. “Things have changed some. My brother received news this morning which has made him more agreeable to settlement, under the right circumstances.” The lawyer on the other side frowned at him. “The settlement the city of Los Angeles and the LAFD offered was quite generous.” PJ nodded. “I’m aware, however this new information changes the ball game. Evan and Mr. Mackey here are more than willing to use it should we be unable to settle.” PJ took the paper with Buck’s settlement conditions and the copy of the sonogram and passed it across the table to Chief Carter. Mackey who hadn’t said a word yet smiled before speaking. “As you can see Mr. Buckley’s condition is going to be a factor now.” The chief looked at the photo then the paper. After which she turned toward the last women in the room. “Hannah may I have Firefighter Buckley’s personnel file please?” Hannah nodded and passed a file over. The Chief opened it up looking until she found what she wanted. “Yes, this does change things. May I ask how far along?”</p><p> </p><p>“Eight weeks.” Eliza nodded. “Alright. We will need to draft a new settlement agreement, with these in mind. Once Firefighter Buckley signs it I will work on the transfer for him.” The lawyer turned around fast and hissed, “Eliza, what are you doing?” The chief turned to the lawyer with fire burning in her eyes. “I’m saving all of our asses. This lawsuit is a clusterfuck, and you know it. What Major Buckley here has just handed us is a lifeline, because if this goes any further then we will all be watching the news tomorrow talk about how one of our city’s first responders is suing us for wrongful termination. Which will be worse given the fact that we now know that Firefighter Evan Buckley is eight weeks pregnant.” The lawyer’s eyes widened but Chief Carter pressed on. “That puts us straight into carrier protection laws especially since it has been marked in his file as information we received when he applied to the training academy. That means we knew that this situation was always a possibility. Now I’m not a lawyer so I do not know the specifics, but I do know that the moment a carrier becomes pregnant under the law we cannot demote or fire them. Now as of eight weeks ago Firefighter Buckley was still an active-duty firefighter and now he is suing us because he is not. If the media gets wind of this it becomes open season on the LAFD and the city of Los Angeles. So, you are going to take this list of very reasonable requests from the LAFD and you are going to make a new settlement agreement right now.” PJ decided at that moment that he liked the Fire Chief a lot as both the lawyer, Mackey and the other women from HR left the room to go and make the settlement. “You agree with Buck’s decision to sue.” Eliza sighed and looked at PJ. “Officially, as Fire Chief no I do not, there were other official channels he could have gone through. Unofficially, the party line I just spouted to you is bullshit Major Buckley.” PJ smiled at that. “PJ. You can call me PJ.” Eliza smiled back. “Alright PJ. Once this is signed, your brother does understand what will happen?” PJ nodded. “Yes. Everything that has happened between Buck and the 118 is wiped clean. No formal investigation into their actions will happen, and he is ok with that if you can meet his requests.” Chief Carter stood. “Alight, you can wait here for the paperwork.” Before leaving she turned and said, “Also Major, if your ever looking for a gig a little closer to home, the LAFD is always hiring.”</p><p> </p><p>            Buck was exhausted both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Normally on a day like this he would be up and energized but his anxiety made him move about while PJ was gone, cleaning the apartment from top to bottom trying to avoid thinking about that he was going to say to PJ. Normally he could do this with no problem but as his body is now supporting a new life, he knew that cleaning all day to avoid something was no longer an option. As for his emotions Buck’s pregnancy was currently playing keep away with those, and Buck hated it. Logically he knew that it was the rush of new hormones his body produced for him to be able to carry his baby. Illogically being this emotionally unstable drove Buck crazy, and he was actively not thinking about how that would only get worse the farther along he got. Hearing his keys in the front door, Buck sighed knowing that he was about to become more emotionally drained. Especially as PJ was not going to let him weasel out of talking about Maddie. Buck turns to see PJ walking in and dropping the keys back down. “Alright so I picked up your medicine from the pharmacy, which include the prenatal vitamins the OB at the hospital prescribed for you.” PJ lifted the pharmacy bag. “Your settlement papers are here. I told them that I would bring it back to you and they were fine with it.” PJ hands Buck the sealed manila envelope. “Once you sign and return those Mackey will get your lawsuit all wrapped up.” Buck opened the envelope and looked over the papers before signing. “I’ll call Mackey in a little while to have someone pick them up.” PJ sat down on the couch and looked at Buck. Sighing because he knew that PJ expected an explanation about Maddie, so Buck began. “When I first started the lawsuit, Mackey said that it would be best for my case to stop communicating with everyone at the 118, so I did. It hurt but I knew that I needed to do it. Then I started to really think about what that meant, and why I was told to not talk to them. I get it now it was so they wouldn’t have any knowledge of what my lawyer was going to use for my case. But back then, I thought this means that to see Maddie I can only see Maddie. I had to make her stop being around Chim, and yeah, I was mad at him. Apart of me still is, but he is so good for her. He worships the ground she walks on and after Doug she deserves to be happy.” Buck sniffed trying to keep the tears welling up from falling. “So, at first, I thought it will be ok, it will be tough, but Maddie would make time for me, she always does. But then I had to face facts. That was a lie because Maddie is in the middle of this. If I saw her, I’d have to not talk about the lawsuit, or I’d have to make her choose between me and Chim.” Buck looked at PJ who had sat the whole-time face impassive as he waited and listened to Buck. Buck scrubbed the back of his hand over his eyes wiping the tear that had started to fall. “I couldn’t let her do that, so I made the choice for her.” Buck looked down at his hands at this point guilt pooling in his stomach. “She called, left me messages, texted me. She even came over and banged on my door, I put the chain on so she couldn’t come in. I just, I just couldn’t let her be unhappy because of me so I ignored all of it.” PJ heaved a sigh at this point. Buck looked up and saw a pinched look on his brother's face. “Let me guess she eventually stopped, and you haven’t tried to reach out since.’ Buck nodded.</p><p> </p><p>            PJ stood and began pacing. Sometimes like at this exact moment it felt like he was the oldest and Maddie and Buck were two-years-old fighting over a toy. It drove him crazy, and it also made him hate being the middle child because he knew it was his job to fix it. It was always his job to fix things. PJ stopped short when he felt a twinge of pain, but luckily, he knew that Buck hadn’t noticed as he was currently very interested in his shoes. PJ sat on the coffee table opposite of him and lifted Buck’s gaze, so their eyes met. “You look tired.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am.” PJ nodded. “Ok, so go take a nap, but listen to me and listen good Evan.” Buck winced at the use of his first name especially as he could guess what was coming. “We are having a Buckley family sit down, today. All of us are going to work this out, because you need us now and we need you. Got it.” Buck looked hesitant. PJ raised an eyebrow in question. “When you mean family does that include Emma?” Buck is nervous about asking this question as he doesn’t want to impose any restrictions on PJ. PJ’s face softens into a smile. “Only if you want it too, otherwise no. I do have to call her though because if I don’t…” PJ shudders at the statement and Buck laughs knowing just what Emma would do if PJ didn’t tell her he was home. “Yeah, you definitely have to call her. Um, but can it just be us for now. I kind of need it that way.” PJ takes Buck’s hand and smiles, “Of course, Ev. Now go take a nap while I make some calls.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There you have it Buck's explanation about Maddie. First don't hate me. Second SERIOUSLY don't hate me. Now on to housekeeping.<br/>Chapter 2 Easter eggs: Title: The One That Got Away by Katy Perry, Parker's name: Bones, "Hello brother": The Vampire Diaries</p><p>Also so you guys have a bit of a timeframe. Buck obviously didn't come back in "Rage" and there are deviations from it and some of the past canon as well. (I cherry picked what I wanted from canon like any good fanfiction writer.) Now for the timeline in the story. The first 5 chapter are all taking place the same day as each other. There will be time jumps in the story but I will let you know either in the notes of the chapter and/or the chapter itself.</p><p>Now I have two questions to pose to you all.<br/>Question 1: What is your opinion on me making this the first in a series? (I'm being very indecisive about it so I want you guys honest opinion.)</p><p>Before I pose Question 2 I need to give a little background to it. So I am a lover of Teen Wolf fanfics (Hence the pseudo) and currently I am reading a series title Superheroes by riverchic1998. It is awesome and I personally recommend it. If I'm starting to loose you because I am referencing another fandom, there is a point. Here it is recently riverchic1998 had been releasing a Director's Cut of the first work in the series which entails a reposting of the work with author commentary regarding thought process on writing the chapter, etc. It got me thinking, which is were my next question comes from.</p><p>Question 2: Would you guys be interested in a Director's Cut of Love Me Like You Do?</p><p>Alright hit me up please as I would really like to know what you think. Again thank you all!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. It's Not Pretty There</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We are back!!! First, just so you guys are aware Buck will not be in this chapter. Yes this is a Buddie fic and they ARE the main focus but there are things that happen with other characters that will affect them so this chapter is still important. Second, if you guys are thinking 'Hey if this is Buddie then where is Eddie?' well he's coming soon along with the rest of the 118 because they are important as well. Third, last chapter I posted two questions in the notes at the end of the chapter. I would really like you guys opinions on them so please look at them and tell me.<br/>Thanks again and Enjoy the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            PJ sighed as he entered Buck’s spare room and dropped off his duffle by the bed knowing that his brother would not mind his crashing with him for a little while. Getting Buck to go lay down was too easy which told PJ that Buck was beyond exhausted. PJ locked the door from the inside not wanting Buck to come inside while he changed into some comfortable clothes. PJ walked over to the bed the pain in his leg which had started earlier getting worse. “Fuck.” PJ stood by the bed carefully undoing his jeans and sliding them down and took a seat on the bed. PJ kicked his right shoe off and removed his right leg from the jeans and sat looking at it, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes to control the pain. PJ thought about how he should have thought against wearing the jeans after such a long plane ride. Opening his eyes PJ looked at his right leg and stared. Scars ran up and down in jagged shapes along his calf and thigh. PJ hated those scars. They were new and one of the two reminders that his life was forever changed. <em>Could have been worse</em> PJ thought and turned to his left leg still partially in his jeans. A dark voice whispered in his head that it was not his leg, that it was his punishment. PJ hated that voice knowing that it was his own mind trying to trick him and repeated the words he and his therapist has come up with together whenever he thought this way. “This is not a punishment Parker. This is the price for you to still be here, alive.” Sighing PJ carefully removed his jeans the rest of the way. Still in pain PJ knew where it was coming from and what would help, and so carefully PJ moved down and put his hand on the prosthetic leg that now took the place of the one he lost to remove it. Placing the now removed leg next to him PJ looked down at his residual limb, looking it over to see if the new leg he had gotten before leaving Germany had caused any skin abrasions or bruising. Seeing none, PJ briefly put his hand at the end just above where his knee would have been before and winced. Just as PJ had suspected the muscles in the leg were tense, but he didn’t have the time to really massage them now and sitting there without his leg on would help with the pain. Sighing PJ picked up his phone, unlocked it and pressed Emma’s contact hoping that she would answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            Three rings in Emma picked up and appeared on the screen face set in confusion. “Parker, is it Friday already?” PJ laughed and shook his head. PJ had long ago stopped arguing about her using his first name instead of calling him PJ. “You’re working too hard if you don’t know what day it is. Is that a pencil in your hair Em?” PJ teased. Shaking her head at him PJ felt the same sense of rightness he had the first time he had ever met Emma Fields that first day of 7<sup>th</sup> grade when she started school after her parents had moved to Hershey due to her father’s job. She did have a pencil in her hair using it to keep her auburn locks in a loose bun, though she looked older and had worry lines now Emma still had those bright green eyes filled with mischief that had made PJ want to get to know her. “Thanks P. You look like crap too.” PJ laughed, missing how Emma could give just as good as she got. These are all reasons why they had become great friends, how even after the failure of them trying to be more over the years they were still so close, still best friends. That and of course the special thing that would always tie them together. Emma frowned, “Wait, no it’s Wednesday. Not to mention its almost one. PJ this is way too soon for you to be calling and Sam is still at school. What’s going on?” Right to the heart of the matter like always Emma would never take PJ’s crap or his evasiveness so he explained. “You are not wrong Em. I know Sam’s still in school, I wanted to talk to you.” Emma looked nervous now as she noticed the background was not the field hospital or base that she was used to seeing in the background of PJ’s calls. “I know that if I didn’t call you that you would come and kick my ass, so here I am. I’m home Emma.” Emma’s frown deepened as having been the girlfriend of a solider, then the ex of a soldier she knew that him being home early was either a blessing or a curse. “What happened?” PJ’s face darkened for a moment, but Emma saw it no matter how fast he thought he covered it. “It’s bad isn’t it?” PJ nodded in response. “Sort of. It’s still hard to talk about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How close?” PJ looked down but didn’t answer knowing exactly what she wanted from him but not sure if he could give it to her. “Parker James Buckley, how close did you come to dying and making ME explain it to our NINE-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER that her father was never coming home?!” PJ winced hating the way Emma could yell at him without really yelling at him all while making him feel even guiltier about how he could have left Sam without her father. “I’m sorry Em, but I’m ok. I’m here, alive and I’m not going anywhere.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Until you get cleared to go back.” PJ let out a hollow laugh at that. “That’s not happening. I’m officially retired Em. Honorable discharge.” Emma’s face finally lost the anger. “Ok. where are you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Right now, Evan’s spare room. I think I’m going to crash with him though so don’t worry about me being homeless.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good. He ok?” PJ shook his head. “He WILL be.” Emma knew that steel, it was the same steel that told her that PJ would move heaven and earth to make that happen and Emma smiled. “That’s good. So, are you asking me if you can pick Sam up from school?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“As much as I want to see my little daredevil, it’s not a good idea until we talk. Face to face.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, boy. Am I going to like this conversation?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, but neither will I. When can we met?” Emma frowned for a second before answering. “Tomorrow, I’m booked all day with clients with just enough time in between to pick Sam up and to make dinner.” PJ nodded. “Ok tomorrow. I love you Em.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Love you too P, always will.” With that Emma hung up the phone. PJ wiped the tears out of his eyes knowing that he needed to be calm for his next call.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            When she saw the caller ID flash across the screen Maddie picked up the phone immediately. PJ’s face popped up on screen and the tension she had in her shoulders relaxed some, at least she knew one sibling was alright. “PJ, I’m so glad you called.” The first thing Maddie noticed was how drained PJ looked, which made her start to worry all over again. “Hey Mads. It’s good to see you again.” PJ is smiling at least so it drains a little of the worry, that is until Maddie notices the background. It looks familiar and it takes her a minute, but it finally clicks as to where she has seen it before, which makes her frown but also causes hope to bloom in her chest. “PJ, are you where I think you are?” PJ’s smile widens. “Depends, if you think I’m currently in our little brother’s apartment then yeah I am where you think I am.” Tears start to fall as Maddie feels relief at the fact that her brother is home. Part of her knows that it is too early, that he didn’t tell her or Buck about him being home, but she will deal with that later. Now, all Maddie can feel is beyond happiness and is grateful that he is safe and with Evan, this lawsuit had made everything so difficult for him and all Maddie wanted was to be there for him. With PJ home and with Buck he would have to let her in, and she could finally be where she was supposed to be, by her little brother’s side. This then brought a new thought to her, did PJ know? Had Buck told him about any of what was going on, she had to know. “PJ, has Evan talk to since you have seen him? Also, when did you get in?” PJ’s face turned serious at those questions, which instantly set off her ‘older sister instincts’ as PJ was fond of calling her hunches about him and Buck. “I got in this morning. I was planning on surprising both of you, only I got the surprise. Evan called me upset. He was crying and asking for me.” Maddie gasped at that. She could count on one hand the number of times Buck had done that. He reserved it for when he couldn’t come to her, or when he thought he couldn’t come to her and each time it was about something huge going on in Evan’s life. It twisted her heart to think that Buck was that upset, and she could do nothing as he shut her out. She tried but after a while Maddie knew that she would have to wait for Buck to come to her, he usually did. “He told me everything that’s been going on, by the end of it he was really tired, so I made him go lay down and nap while I called you and Emma.” Maddie nodded. She figured that if this were headed where she was hoping it would in the end that PJ talked to Emma first, and she didn’t fault him on that because Maddie has seen Emma angry once before and it was not pretty. “You look awful Mads.” Maddie sighed. “Thanks for that jerk. It comes with the territory of being a big sister. I’ve been worried, a lot. About you, and about Evan. He’s shutting me out PJ and it’s gotten to the point where he just flat out avoids me. I’m out of ideas, honestly I was just about ready to call you to help.” PJ smiled at that. “Yeah, he told me. Not that I gave him much of a choice. You us know us Buckley’s stubborn to a fault with no boundaries.” Maddie giggled at that. It was such a PJ thing to say, even if it was true. “You forgot pushy.” PJ laughed. “Yeah, I did.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How worried should I be about him Parker?” Maddie knew that it was a low blow pleading with PJ and using his first name, but she needed answers, she needed to know how bad it was so that she could make everything ok again. PJ sighed “You do not play fair.” PJ looked down and then back at Maddie. “Really worried, Maddie. You should be worried. I’ve done what I can on my own so far, but he needs you. He needs us. Which is the other reason for this call. I have officially called as Buckley sibling only family meeting because we are going to work this out as soon as possible, hopefully today if you are free”. Maddie got up and started to head to her room to get changed. “It’s my day off, and I have no plans. I will be right over.” PJ nodded. “Good. See you soon Maddie.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“See you soon PJ.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ok. So. Yeah that was a lot. I know. I was feeling it too. If you wanna talk about it please go ahead an leave comments.<br/>Chapter 3 Easter Eggs: Title: Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis featuring Mary Lambert<br/>Now news for you all about Chapter 5. As you can tell it is going to be HUGE as we will finally have the Buckley siblings talk. That said, it will probably be the longest chapter I will have written to date as I neither want to break it up nor do I think it would flow as well if it was. I have a lot planned for Chapter 5. This also means that to make sure I am doing it justice I will not be able to get it out for at a minimum one full week. I can't promise it sooner than that and it very well may take me longer than a week, but I think it will be worth it. So thanks again and I will see you soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I’ll Walk Through Hell With You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back all! So first things first housekeeping! As you will see I have made this apart of a series, which is because I have decided to make this the first part of one. SO YAY!!!! Second I have added a new tag which is evil author. i did this because I felt it was appropriate as I can be a little bit evil. Like when I made you all think Maddie was a terrible sister, so yeah its there. Third, I have decided to post a director's cut of Love Me Like You Do! I will be posing is simultaneously with this just a few chapter behind. Chapter One of it will be up by the weekend!</p>
<p>Now being frank here, I cried while i was writing this chapter so please be prepared because you may cry as well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Maddie stood outside Buck’s apartment hesitating for the last five minutes to enter. Part of her wanted to just use her key and go inside, she has missed Buck and PJ. A larger part of her was terrified of what was beyond that door. It held answers to questions she had, though she feared she had the answers already as she knew her brothers well. Mostly she was scared that Buck would confirm her fear that he stopped seeing her during the lawsuit was because he didn’t need her or that he thought she was not on his side. Part of her knew that was crazy but years with Doug had eroded her confidence in her own instincts. The bigger part of her fear this time though was from PJ being home. Every time PJ was on tour, he always let her, and Buck know the moment he was scheduled to come home, to stop them from worrying, and she knew from that conversation alone that he was still supposed to be in Jordan for another two months at the least. She knew that it was possible that they were ordered out early and so fast that he was unable to let them know sooner, it had happened once before on his last tour. But something felt different this time, and a pit now the size of a bowling ball sat in her stomach. It was almost as bad as when he had told them he was being deployed to Iraq, though nothing could ever make her feel as much terror as she did that day. Taking a deep breath and holding on to hope that everything was alright she used her key and entered the apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            PJ sat at the small dining table that Buck had in the apartment waiting for Maddie to get here while waiting for Buck to finish the shower he started after PJ told him that Maddie was coming over. Honestly, Buck was not the only one freaked out. PJ knew that this conversation would not just be about how Maddie and Buck have been acting. He was going to be asked what had happened. It was the other reason he had changed into sweatpants. They were easier to lift than his jeans besides being easier on his new leg. Fiddling with the cup of tea he had made for himself PJ heard keys being inserted in the door. Looking up he saw Maddie entering and immediately felt relief tinged with a little bit of panic settle over him. When Maddie saw PJ, she broke out into a huge grin and went over getting to him at the same time he stood up and threw herself into a big hug. PJ braced himself on his right leg so that she wouldn’t knock them both over, possibly breaking his new and very expensive left leg. “I missed you so much PJ.” Hugging back with the same big smile PJ answered, “I missed you too Maddie.” Noticing that Buck had come down dressed in a t-shirt and sweats his hair still damp from the shower PJ let go of Maddie. “I missed you too by the way.” Buck rolled his eyes fondly at that before being face to face with Maddie for the first time since the suit began. “Hi.” It was beyond inadequate, but PJ and Maddie took it as a start.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            Taking a seat, they all looked at each other before Maddie began. “I missed you Evan.” Buck felt even guiltier, and he sniffed trying to keep the tears from forming. “I missed you too.” Sighing Maddie asked what had been on her mind since she first talked to PJ. “Then why did you shut me out?” it was Buck’s turn to sigh. “The lawsuit.” Maddie’s face betrayed her confusion as this was not the explanation she needed. Buck saw that and started to explain. “Maddie, I sued the city of Los Angeles, the LAFD, and Bobby over my job. I didn’t think about it at the time, but that included Chimney in the lawsuit.” Understanding Maddie interrupted a picture forming in her head that she did not like and started to make her mad. “So, you thought I wouldn’t take your side?” That response set off Buck, still emotional over everything else that happened today. “No.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, you didn’t trust me?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No. I didn’t want you to have to choose.” Frustrated Maddie got louder. “So, you decided FOR me, huh. Because I can’t make my own decisions?” At this point PJ knew it was time to intervene. “Woah hold up. Order in the Buckley court.” Maddie and Buck stopped and looked at PJ. “Yeah, that’s right, I’m ending this round. We are here to work this out not yell at each other.” PJ stood up and went to the counter to pick up a plate. Bringing it over he set down a sandwich in front of Buck. “Eat.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m not hungry.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Eat the damn sandwich Evan.” Buck picked up the sandwich and began eating. “Alright this is what we are going to do. We are going to talk calmly and rationally, just like we used to do during these meeting, ok.” Both nodded. “Good. Now Maddie talk, say whatever you need to, and Evan listen.” Maddie reached over and grabbed Buck’s hand. “I love that you were thinking about me. It’s what makes you who you are. It’s what make you an amazing firefighter. Yes, sometimes I wish you had a safer job. I know that my feeling this way bothers you Evan, but it has nothing to do with you.” Taking a deep breath Maddie pushed on. “Ever since the fire truck, I’ve been so scared that I am going to lose you, so part of me does hate that you filed the lawsuit. But that’s normal because I’m your big sister. I am always going to worry about you. It’s part of the job description. That said it doesn’t mean I don’t think you were right, or that you don’t deserve to have the opportunity to return to work.” Buck who had started crying during this squeezed Maddie’s hand. “You have no idea how scared I was when you were in the hospital after the truck and after you started coughing up blood. I just wanted to wrap you up and hide you away. Honestly, it was just as bad as the terrible worry I have when PJ goes on tour.” Turning to look at PJ Maddie starts talking to him. “When you were in Jordan, every day I wondered if it was going to be the day, I got a knock on my door. That the army was calling to tell me you were gone. I became afraid to answer my door for a while.” Maddie used her free hand to take one of PJ’s. “It’s why I am so glad you are home, even if you haven’t said why it was early.” Buck turned to look at PJ taking his other hand. “Me too. Maddie’s not the only one how was worried about you PJ. Every time you missed one of our scheduled calls I became just as terrified of answering the door. You’ve been there for us both so much. Hell, you were a better father figure growing up than dad was.” PJ sighed. “So, its gang up on PJ time?” Buck and Maddie chuckled and nodded. “Alight. But to explain this I’m going to need two things from you guys.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Anything.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“First, I need to get this out without interruptions. It’s still hard to talk about and if you stop me, I may not start back up.” Buck and Maddie nodded. “Second, I will need my hands.” Now confused Buck and Maddie nodded again before releasing PJ’s hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            PJ sighed. He hated this but he knew that it had to come up sooner or later and with his siblings not letting up it was going to be sooner. “Alight so I don’t know if you guys remember this but a little over eight months ago my unit had been sent out on a mission. It was supposed to be routine, in and out in three days and it was. Until it wasn’t.” PJ looked at his hands which had started shaking slightly concentrating on them instead of the images that his brain began to conjure. A focusing technique so that he could remain in the present and not be swallowed up by his PTSD and have a full-blown flashback. “We were heading back to base when it happened. Out of nowhere we were ambushed.” PJ heard a gasp, but it sounded far away, his mind racing as he began to hear and see everything like it was happening all over again. “We were able to keep them off us and reinforcements were able to get to us fast, but it was still too late. I-I lost half my unit that day. I lost apart of myself that day.” PJ moved his left leg out from under the table so Buck and Maddie could both see. Taking a deep breath, PJ hiked the leg up to reveal his prosthetic. PJ looked at Buck and Maddie both having gone pale and speechless and then hid the leg back under his sweats. “I got hit by an IED. Honestly, I don’t know how I made it out, but I knew that I had to survive, and I had to save my men, so I worked through the pain. My right leg had shrapnel which I knew was bad from the pain, but I had worse pain in my left leg at the time. It was all happening so fast. I couldn’t even call you guys. As soon as I was back at base camp, I was at the field hospital. They had to work fast if they wanted to save even one of my legs, and I knew it. That’s when I told them to save my life no matter what, because I knew I couldn’t die there I had to get back home, to the two of you, to Emma, to Sam.” PJ took Buck and Maddie’s hands again. “Next thing I know it’s two weeks later and I’m at MEDCOM with a scarred up right leg and an above the knee amputation on my left leg.” Maddie cleared her throat tears falling from her face from the moment PJ said he was attacked. “You’ve been in Germany the last six weeks?” PJ nodded. “It was the safest transport location. They have been helping me, therapy, PT, OT, prosthetic leg. Got discharged two days ago and today was the earliest I could get in. I’ve been retired, honorable discharge, the new leg I have is state of the art so I can do just about anything I could before. They are hoping to have other amputee’s return to service in the future once this baby can be improved. Though it does mean I’m going to need a shower chair to bathe if I’m staying here.” Buck chuckled wetly at that comment. “Are you ok?” Buck hated how small his voice sounded when asking that but mostly he was still worried. “Physically, I’m one-hundred percent. Mentally, some days are better than others. That’s why I need you two to figure your crap out, because I’m going to need you on the bad days.” Maddie and Buck laughed even as they were still crying as it was such a PJ thing to say, and it helped. Maddie squeezed PJ’s hand. “We are not done talking about this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Good. Now let’s figure this crap out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            Buck felt like he was on a rollercoaster with his emotions, and it was not just because he was pregnant. “Maddie, I get that you are worried about me, and that I scared you. I scared myself, cause yeah, I could have died. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a firefighter, even if I’m nervous.” PJ and Maddie look at Buck confused. “I want to be back at work, but I know that the word has gotten around about the lawsuit.” Buck started to fidget in his chair, expressing this was hard for him but he needs to if they are all going to move forward. “Not just that but it’s like no one believes in me anymore, like because I have health problems, I can’t do my job. But that’s not true and I’m taking really good care of myself.” Buck looked down at the table. “I’m making myself a priority because I know that I need to make sure that I am healthy to do my job.” Maddie took a deep breath before talking. “Evan. I do believe in you. When I said you were an amazing firefighter, it’s because it is the truth, and yes, I am a little bias as you sister. However, I know that you can do anything, and we are going to be right here beside you all the way.” Buck looked up at Maddie with tears in his eyes. “B-but Chim…” Maddie started to rub circles on the back of Buck’s hand. “Howie and I are still together. I love him. However, I love you more, and he knows that. I told him that. After I yelled at him. Once he told me about the lawsuit.” PJ started snickering at that knowing just how that conversation went even without meeting Maddie’s boyfriend. “Maddie.” Maddie shook her head. “Evan. You do not deserve to be treated the way you were. That’s another thing I told Howie. Honestly right now we are avoiding work talk as it is, especially after… well.” Maddie blushed and PJ’s snickers turned into chuckles. Maddie sighed. “Alright so after Chim told me everything I went to talk with everyone at the 118.” Buck’s eyes widened. This could not be good. “Bobby, Hen, Chim, and Eddie were there so I asked them. I wanted to know if it was true and they, it was like you weren’t one of them anymore, or at least that’s what it felt like to me and then Bobby said something. I just kind of lost it. in the middle of the station. For everyone to see and hear.” PJ who up to this point had been trying to be good finally lost it and erupted into full blown laughter while Buck started to cry again. Maddie made a face at PJ not happy with the laughing. “I-I’m. AHAHA. I’m s-s-sorry. HAHAHA Mads. It’s just, HAHAHAHA. Everyone ca-calls, y-you the nice Bu-Buckley, a-and that is so n-not tr-tr-tr-true. HAHAHAHAHAHA.” Maddie let’s go of PJ’s hand and punches him in the arm. “Thank you, Maddie, for sticking up for me. I appreciate even if PJ is being a jerk about it.” Maddie looks at Buck. “Also, I’m sorry about freezing you out.” Maddie gets up and pulls Buck into a hug. “I forgive. Just don’t do it again.” Buck smiles. “I won’t. Hey, at least now that everything is good between us again, I can tell you about work, which you don’t have to worry so much about with me. At least for a little while.” Maddie pulls back confused. So, Buck sits back down and begins talking again. “Earlier today I got some news, big news. It forced me to reevaluate everything.” Maddie looked confused. “I’m getting there. So, because of this news PJ helped me out and I worked out a nee settlement with the LAFD.” Maddie’s face fell and she interrupted. “Evan, why after everything would you-” Buck held up a hand and was smiling. “Maddie, I’m going back to work, that was part of the settlement and if you want to look it over you can. First let me finish.” Maddie nodded. “Ok, so I worked out this new settlement because it was what is best for me or rather us now.” Buck placed his right hand over his stomach, his baby his smile getting wider. Maddie noticed the movement and stopped dead eyes wide. “Evan?’ Buck nodded. “Found out this morning when I went to the hospital cause I has throwing up. Which as I’ve been told is normal because, well yeah. I’m pregnant Maddie.” Maddie’s face broke out into a huge grin and squealed while pulling Buck into a hug.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Buckley siblings are the BEST!!!!!! Also guys about our unborn little bundle of joy, AKA Buck and Eddie's baby. I have decide about sex but NOT NAMES. So if you guys want to give me suggestions please do! That is for the FULL NAME because I would love the baby to be A Diaz, or a Buckley, or a Buckley-Diaz, or a Diaz-Buckley (see I am so indecisive on this :P) So please please help me out!!!! THANKS!!!!!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. It's Too Late</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ok guys I'm back. Chapter 6 was a BEAST to write but I got it for you all. As for Chapter 7 it is going to be WAY harder for me to write so in the mean time I will be updating Love Me Like You Do - The Director's Cut so your guys have something while I wade through one of the tougher chapters.</p>
<p>P.S. I noticed I forgot the easter eggs from chapter 4 so I am going to but them here along with chapter 5.<br/>P.P.S. I will now be putting the easter eggs in the beginning of chapters.<br/>Easter eggs for Chapter 4: Title- "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson<br/>Easter eggs for Chapter 5: Title- "Stand By You" by Rachel Platten</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Chief Carter sighed as she pulled up to Firehouse 118 the next day. This was not going to be a pleasant visit but having received the signed settlement papers yesterday she knew that this needed to be done and not put off until later. Exiting her vehicle, she entered the 118 and noticed the shocked expressions on faces as they stood upright and saluted her. Everyone knew that if the Fire Chief was visiting your house it was very good or someone was about to get chewed out. Scanning the loft, the Chief found who she was looking for and made her way upstairs. It was nearing the end of shift and Bobby, Hen, Chim and Eddie were sitting down about to eat a late breakfast when the sound of boots caught their attention. Looking up all four of them saw Fire Chief Carter heading towards them and if looks could kill they would all surely be goners. As she walked up Bobby stood and saluted her. “Chief Carter, welcome. It’s always good to have you here at the 118.” Chief Carter was not in the mood for pleasantries after the past couple of days she had been having due to the 118. “Captain Nash, I need to have a word with you in your office.” That was all she said as she turned on her heel and strode towards the Captain’s office not checking to see if he followed but knowing that he would anyway. Bobby looks at the rest of his team before heading off to his office suddenly very unsure of what was going to happen next.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            Chim, Hen, and Eddie all sat at the table watching Bobby walk off like he was going to be executed. It was not that far off especially as the Chief had looked two seconds away from a dressing down right in the middle of the house. It would not have been the first time, Maddie having come and screamed at them all not that long ago. “What do you think the Chief is here for?” Hen rolled her eyes at Chim. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. “Chim, really it is probably about the lawsuit.” Hen glanced at Eddie looking for any changes in his mood. Eddie had been a nightmare ever since Buck had filed the suit, being moody at best and downright unbearable at worst whenever he was on shift. Part of Hen hoped that this was the LAFD coming to tell them it was over and that they were letting Buck back to work. Bobby may still be pissed at him, but it was becoming terrible at the 118. It felt like all the sunshine had been drained away. No one talked about Buck being gone and Hen honestly felt like this was no longer a second home to her, not if they were missing a member of the family. Eddie pointedly looked down at his plate acting as if he did not hear any of the conversation but the tight knuckled grip on his fork and the angry stab at the eggs betrayed him. Hen looked over at Bobby’s office watching the Chief and Bobby entering, she had a bad feeling that whatever was going to happen in there would not be good for any of them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            Bobby entered his office closing the door and took a seat in his chair the Chief taking a seat opposite of him and waited for her to speak. Chief Carter sighed as she has already had a long day having received the signed settlement papers yesterday, which then included a very long talk with HR, legal, and the other top brass before having to begin the transfer process on Firefighter Buckley today. This however was going to be hopefully an easy part of the settlement. “Captain Nash, do you know why I am here today?” Bobby looked at his boss and nodded heaving a large sigh. “I would assume it has to do with Fire Marshal Buckley’s lawsuit.” The Chief nodded at his answer. “That’s correct.” Bobby had been prepared for this, he knew that the LAFD was going to give Buck his job back to save face and since the 118 was down a member he knew that they would assign him back here. “Yesterday the city of Los Angeles, the Los Angeles Fire Department, and your legal representative from our department reached a settlement agreement with Evan Buckley.” Bobby’s eyes widened at that. He was not prepared to hear that Buck had taken the payout. A small part of him was devastated because this meant that he would never be able to work with Buck again. A larger part was relieved because Buck would be out of harm’s way, unable to get hurt again. Unable to scare Bobby like he had at the party. The part that won out though was his anger. That this person he let into his life would betray his confidence and then use it to get a hefty settlement after talking about how he only wanted his job back. Bobby thought that he finally understood why the Chief had come in angry. “I understand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I don’t think you do Captain Nash.” The fire in Eliza’s eyes burned brighter unhappy with the face that the man across from her had made a moment ago. While Bobby looked confused at that statement, Eliza pressed on. “Let me make myself perfectly clear Captain, this settlement is in no way what you are thinking, and if not for you we would never have been in the situation for one in the first place.” Bobby’s eye’s widened at that but kept quiet as the Chief continued speaking. “This case was a shitshow and with everything that would have come out if it had gone to trial not only would we have lost but the city would have called for most of our jobs.” Chief Carter places her cap down on the chair next to her and continues. “I am not happy here Bobby. Not at all.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I understand. The things said in the deposition were awful. Buck should have never told him anything about our personal lives.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, you don’t understand. I’m not unhappy about the deposition, I already knew that was going to go badly, especially with everything you have allowed to go on here at the 118.” Bobby sat in shock at what was just spoken. The Chief however pressed on. “It seems you have been misinformed about parts of the lawsuit, so I will fill you in. Everything that Chase Mackey had access to about you and members of the 118’s personal live came from the LAFD. Your documented addiction, Firefighter Diaz’s return to work before clearance form a trauma counselor after the death of his wife, and everything in between was given to the defense as part of the process when your personal files were requested. Evan Buckley did not do anything to any of you. Which is why after learning everything that has gone on myself, I am not happy with how you have been behaving. As Firefighter Captain of the 118 you have let your personal issues interfere with MY fire department and the ONLY reason you have not been suspended pending a review is BECAUSE of Firefighter Buckley.” Bobby was still sat frozen to his chair. “Which considering your glaring breach of LAFD protocol involving his illness makes you very lucky. Now as for the reasons I am here. First the settlement for the wrongful termination of Firefighter Evan Buckley. As part of the specifics of the settlement are above your paygrade what you need to know is what I tell you. Per the settlement terms Evan Buckley has been reinstated as an active firefighter of the LAFD.” Bobby nodded still unable to speak especially now that he was being told Buck was returning to work. “Upon his agreement to drop the lawsuit and waive the specific complaints lodged against the LAFD, the 118, and yourself we have agreed to this and other concessions. The only one that concerns you and this house however is the fact that upon his reinstatement Firefighter Buckley requested he be transferred out of Firehouse 118 before his first shift after his reinstatement.” Bobby went cold. Every part of him felt numb even as his mind whirled around the thought that Buck was not coming back, that he didn’t WANT to come back. “Obviously, he does not trust you to treat him professionally should he return, and I do not blame him. I need you to give me your copy of Buckley’s personnel file please as I will need to forward it on to his new captain.” Bobby nodded and stood stiffly before he went to the personal files finding Buck’s and handing it over to the Chief. “Now for the second piece of business. This lawsuit has brought a lot of things to my attention that I am not happy about. Truthfully if this station ran like it was supposed to then I never would have seen a lawsuit like this on my desk. So, this is your official notice, and you can pass along the news to the rest of the station that Firehouse 118 is going to have a house assessment within the month. I expect this station to be in tiptop shape when that happens or there will be consequences, understand?” Bobby nodded unable to trust his voice yet. Chief Carter grabbed her cap placed it on her head and nodded before leaving Bobby alone in his office, and if he sat down in his chair and cried for the next 10 minutes mourning Buck leaving the 118 then only Bobby would know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>            When Chief Carter left Bobby’s office by herself, a file she didn’t have with her before in her arms Eddie knew the feeling of wrong that he had from the moment he saw her at the 118 grew. After what felt like an eternity Bobby came out of his office and headed back up the loft stairs, but Eddie could tell that he was subdued. He moved slowly and like he was only half there with them. Worst was that when he finally got to them the whole team could see the red rim around his eyes that told them he had been crying after the visit with the Chief. Ice started to form in Eddie’s veins at the sight. Hen and Chim went over to Bobby and brought him to the table trying to sooth him and asking him what had happened, but Eddie already knew. He didn’t need Bobby to say it, he didn’t WANT Bobby to say it because then it would be true. Then all of Eddie’s worst fears would come to life right here and now in the station and he could not bear it but no matter how much he tried Eddie was frozen in place stuck as he watched Bobby look at them defeated before speaking. “The Chief came to tell me… us that the lawsuit has been settled.” The ice in Eddie’s veins froze faster and raced towards his heart because he knew what was coming next. “Buck, he’s been reinstated.” Out of the corner of his eye Eddie saw light and hope enter Hen and Chim’s eyes for the first time in weeks, but not Eddie’s he knew it was a trap. That there was no hope, and that Bobby was about to rip all their worlds apart. “He, he’s not coming back. Buck asked to be transferred out of the 118 before he returns to duty.” The light that had just returned to Hen and Chim instantly went out. Eddie knew it, Buck was gone. His heart seized, tears began to form at the corners of his eyes and Eddie was finally able to move again. The breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding rushed out of him. Eddie vaguely felt everyone turn and look at him, he could hear them call out his name, but Eddie ignores them all running down the stairs straight to the locker room the tears already flowing as his heart began to break in two.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeah, I'm an evil little author. See you all next time.<br/>*Runs towards fallout shelter to avoid anyone that maybe angry*</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments, questions, ideas, theories? Comment about them below. Also, I am not apposed to you commenting about your own canon theories (like what do you think is going to happen tomorrow).</p>
<p>Thank you guys so much for reading and I will be back ASAP.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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